The Hamam

The Hamam.

So for those of you have heard of what a Russian banya is, you’ll know what’s coming up. For those of you who don’t, you’re about to be in for a shock. The hamam is one of those traditional Azerbaijani things that people here swear by. Basically, it’s a sauna. But really, it’s an experience.

Some of my friends had already been before and asked if I was interested and I decided, why not. So we all went on Monday. Obviously this is a single-sex experience, and depending on the hamam, men and women go different days. Women go on Mondays and Fridays at the particular hamam we went to. (As we were walking in a man down the street started freaking out until he realized it was Monday and it was ok that we went.) So you go in and walk into the changing room and immediately there’s just nudity everywhere. I think there’s a very big difference in attitude towards bodies in the States and pretty much everywhere else. So we change, leave on only undies and walk into the hamam.

My friend had told me that at the hamam, beyond just the sauna, you can get a massage and scrub too. What she failed to tell me, is that the massage and scrub was in public, all in this tiny room. The room was about the size of three standard-sized living rooms put together or something- not very large. Anyways, as you walk in, a large middle-aged (naked) woman comes up to you and very aggressively asks if you want a massage and scrub. When in Rome, right? So we all three agree to get them, and she says she’ll come get us when ready. We shower off and then go sit in the really hot sauna for about 10 minutes. After the sauna, you get in the tub of very cold water for about a minute to cool off, and then you go back into the sauna. You’re supposed to repeat this three times, and then get the massage, but our lady found us first.

It’s funnier with all these details included, but if you don’t want to hear about the aforementioned naked middle-aged woman, skip this. So I get the aggressive lady and I just kind of awkwardly follow her to this large stone slab that’s covered with a pseudo-table cloth. She pours water on it (“cleans”) and instructs me to lie down. I attempt and I don’t get anywhere before she stops me and points to my undies and implies that those are coming off. Ok, fine. So then I get back on and she starts exfoliating my skin like it has never been exfoliated before. In places it had never been exfoliated before. She’s grabbing my legs and shoving them in her chest so she can properly scrub them and whatnot. I turn over and the same happens. Talk about awkward. Then she makes me shower off, and it’s time for the massage. I gave her my body wash and shampoo and she again went to town. It was actually all very worth it, it’s just a bit of shock to be getting rubbed down by a naked woman in a room full of other naked women.

After this we decided we were done for the day and showered off and went back into the changing room. The hamam is the one and only place that Azerbaijani women smoke together. They serve tea and a lot of the women sit around smoking (still naked, by the way).

I’m sure you are all aghast at my daring for doing this, but here the idea of wandering around naked and getting scrubbed down in front of a bunch of people just isn’t a big deal. They kind of have the mindset that everyone has the same parts, why make a big fuss about it. No one cared, and no one was looking.